


Realisations

by SheynaLew



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e22 Out of Mind, Episode: s03e01 Into the Fire, Episode: s03e06 Point of View, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:13:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheynaLew/pseuds/SheynaLew
Summary: There are consequences of Jack’s kiss with alternate Sam.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 7
Kudos: 44





	Realisations

There was nothing quite so wonderful as that moment of realisation, of complete comprehension and understanding. That split second between lack of knowledge and knowing something. The tipping point in your head where you feel yourself grow a little. It was what had drawn Sam to academia, and why, despite the Air Force and the SGC being her life, science would always be her first love.

Or so she thought. In this particular instance, however, she was, she believed, much happier in her blissfully ignorant state. Before she knew what they looked like wrapped in each other’s arms. Before she realised that maybe his feelings went a little deeper than a simple workplace flirtation. Before, and this was the crux of it, before she realised she was jealous of ‘herself’ and all the worryingly real emotions that that jealousy was packaged up with.

As she watched him kiss the other ‘her’ through the quantum mirror, her heart skipping, face flushing in jealousy and embarrassment, yet unable to look away, realisation set in. She had feelings for him. Not just the “I respect you ‘cause you’re a great CO and an excellent tactician” kind of feelings. No. This was more of the “I think I might actually be a little bit in love with you” kind of feelings. And damn if that didn’t just mess everything up.

She knew she was physically attracted to him. That particular realisation had struck a while ago, when they’d been captured by Hathor and he hugged her tight against him to hide from some Jaffa. And then not let go even when the Jaffa had gone, his hands lingering on her body, making her all warm in the pit of her stomach. But physical attraction can be denied. It can be fought. Emotions, well, that was a whole different kettle of fish. Sure she could pretend they weren’t there. She could ignore them day to day. But now that she knew they were there, she’d always have that awareness in the back of her mind. And that question, after seeing him kiss her so tenderly; did he feel that way too?

Yeah, realisation sucked.

******************

‘Aw crap.’ Not the first thought he’d expected to have upon kissing Carter. Not that he’d ever let himself believe that it would ever happen. Only as an idle fantasy in the back of his mind. Occasionally. Usually when she got going with her technobabble and he’d rather fantasise than pay attention. And then maybe that one time in the shower after they’d escaped Hathor and he couldn’t get the smooth plains of her bare shoulders out of his head. But no, he didn’t actually think it would really happen. They weren’t allowed, for a start. She was his 2iC. And she probably wasn’t interested in her grouchy old CO even if they were allowed to do anything.

Except that this Carter wasn’t his 2iC. She wasn’t in the Airforce at all. Let alone in his chain of command. And she most definitely was interested in him. Hell, she’d been married to him. Her version of him anyway. And it made him wonder if perhaps his Carter could actually be interested in him after all.

And as he wondered, his mind was drawn back to the Carter in his arms. The one who had lost her husband, who so desperately wanted him to be that Jack. But he wasn’t. And, he realised, she wasn’t his Carter. He couldn’t put his finger on it. But something about her didn’t feel quite how he’d expected his Carter to be. She was softer, but more sure of herself. His Carter was strong on the one hand but oddly under-appreciative of her own abilities for someone so amazing. She wouldn’t kiss him like this. He was sure. In his head she’d have been more shy about it at first. Until she realised he wanted it too. And then she’d go all in. Maybe biting his lip. Maybe pushing her tongue between his lips. Not this gentle caress. She didn’t hold him quite right either. He’d embraced his Carter before and this wasn’t the same. She didn’t smell like his Carter either. She was all flowers. His Carter was citrus fruits and tangy.

The odd thing was, he found himself disappointed. A beautiful woman, one he was definitely physically attracted to, was kissing him, and he felt disappointed that she wasn’t his Carter. He knew, as she pulled away, that she felt the same disappointment. He wasn’t her Jack. He shelved his own feelings. If he’d given given her just a moment of comfort, of closure, then he’d take that. He’d be ok with his brief moment of weakness and knowledge that he wouldn’t ever get to know what kissing his Carter would be like. That knowledge sank like a lead weight to the pit of his stomach and he wondered why that was. This was just a physical attraction surely. But that sinking feeling and bizarre sense of loss of something he’d never even had harkened more towards an emotional connection. Shit. Had he let himself fall for her? Stupid!

He turned away towards the mirror and as he touched it his eyes connected with his Carter’s. And in the brief second before he was pulled back through into his own reality he realised; he wasn’t alone in those feelings. A strange mixture of foreboding and excitement filled him as they closed the connection on his alternate life.

**Author's Note:**

> E rated content in the next chapter ;-)


End file.
